Hi, visionaries Today I am starting my retreat and I decided to journal it. I am making a mini retreat where I just relax and take some time for me once it’s the start of lent and I’ve been stressed lately. I still have to go to school and everything but I’m still trying to incorporate more time for myself into my day. My mini retreat started March 3 and ends the 13th.
My Retreat Journal
Today I decided to start an at home retreat. I’ve been kind of feeling this need to take more me time and do things for me even when others can’t see or encourage me. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to make art or do things I love when it’s not for a YouTube video or for someone/ something else. I did decide to film it after I had started my retreat but unlike usual it’s not me filming just for a video it’s something I was going to do either way.
Today is Ash Wednesday aka the first day of Lent so that was good. I just went to church and am typing this on the way home. Surprisingly enough I actually got some screenplay and sketch comedy ideas in mass today... I’m weird I know. Anyway so before mass I did yoga and meditation, watched some asmr videos and basically just some well deserved me time.
I was following a yoga video and the instructor was sitting up but I decided to just lay down and it was relaxing. I had finally been able to get my mind off my worries for the first time this week and just- be. I also got some creative writing and drawing done. This retreat is already making me feel and be a better person.
P.s. I am only filming the first day, today and part of the last day of my retreat so I can just focus on relaxing and actually retreating and still make the video.
Today I woke up feeling better than usual, less stressed. I still had to go to school today which of course I hated but I was more calm and grateful than usual. I read my Jesus Calling book this morning and decided to take notes on it, this morning’s reading was on how to let Jesus help you.
So I’m now writing this on Friday the next day because I didn’t have a chance to yesterday but to recap, I didn’t get to doing my yoga or meditation.
I did take time for myself by just doing nothing. I basically just watched a lot of YouTube videos which was nice but I didn’t do yoga like I was supposed to. I did make myself a warm cup of Carmel hazelnut chai, which was really good and calming. Another thing I did was play the guitar. I’ve been wanting to start practicing playing the guitar and singing more but I didn’t have the time until now. That’s a good thing about this retreat and it’s part of the reason I did it, to get back into creative things like playing the guitar I haven’t done in a while.
So I did feel like I “failed” the retreat yesterday by not doing yoga and not taking as much time away from YouTube and social media to just think but singing and playing the guitar was in a way a meditation of its one. I’ve always felt calmer when singing so I think maybe I did okay after all.
3/8/19-International Women’s Day
Today at school was kind of stressful because I found out an English paper I have is due on Monday and I don’t feel prepared but I’m still gonna relax today. Today I also am going to a special meeting for the club I’m in, girls empowerment at another school. I’m slightly stressed I won’t have enough time to relax/retreat because of that but I might. So fast forward to later I did do some relaxing but procrastinated doing yoga again but otherwise it was pretty good I’m going to bed really late because I stayed up watching YouTube videos again but today was alright.
So like I said, last night I stayed up late last night. I did relax a little bit but I mostly watched regular videos on YouTube so it was the normal “lazy” relaxing if you know what I mean. But this morning when I woke up I read the Bible and did some personal bible studies. I wrote down some psalms and my thoughts on them while listening to some meditation music I found on YouTube so i started my day off well.
I woke up pretty early even after staying late so I made myself some matcha tea for energy. After breakfast, I decided to read my Jesus calling back and then do some yoga and meditation. I decided to change up the space and do yoga in the living room(as supposed to my room). Today was a pretty calm and relaxing day. I had to work on an English paper but I still made time for relaxing. I just finished writing my paper I’m about to make myself some chai and just relax, until tom bye!
Three more days of retreat. I’ll be honest I woke up really cranky & annoying this morning and was pretty rude. Could’ve done better but that’s okay. I did some yoga but got annoyed and stopped but am trying to do more yoga later. I was able to read my Bella grace magazine and journal in it as well as write poetry and screenplay write. I’m probably gonna go journal some more and do some more meditation. I’m so happy I’m finally back on track for the last three days of this retreat.
I was very stressed out because I had to finish my English paper that’s due tomorrow but I finished it earlier than I thought.
Today is the second to last day of my retreat. I edited the video about it yesterday. Today my mom and I are going to mall after school and hanging out but I’m still gonna make time for relaxation later.
I’m writing the rest of this the next day. So we went to the mall and it was really fun. First we went to a market we go to and got some cupcakes and cheese and ate them outside on at the table. We then went to the mall to lush and then to the candy store where we got some chocolate Carmel’s and three types of cotton candy. Then later we went home and I filmed some stuff. I was worried at first I couldn’t relax because we’d be out but being outside of the house was actually very relaxing and very thought provoking which definitely helped my retreat.
Today is the second to last day of my retreat for the last few days I’ve been kind of off and not making time for me to relax but today I have been.
Last night I went to bed mad and I woke up mad this morning. My morning & afternoon were horrible but this evening is great. My mom is at work so I have the house to myself which I love. I made myself a meal while watching YouTube. I made myself tofu and seasoned rice which turned out really good. I finally got some time to myself again which I desperately needed as I was really stressed out and I was still on retreat. I had some school work to do but not a lot and for once I didn’t stress about it. I didn’t do yoga or meditation but I took a ton of time to myself which is what I really needed.
3/13/19-The last(or is it?) day of my retreat
So, I was happy and proud of myself that for the most part I took everyday and gave myself at least some time to relax and just be by myself, but I was also sad that my retreat was coming to an end. That day was a pretty normal day except for how I felt. I had almost forgot it was the end. But I did a lot of stuff. I finally started journaling again. I had made some time for myself to just watch YouTube videos and do nothing and I did meditation.
Overall, my retreat didn’t go as planned. I didn’t have time everyday to relax all the time but who does. The important thing is I still made it work and feel a lot better because I took this time to myself.
Thanks you guys for reading. Peace out!
Awesome Girl. Living happily. Some bad days. Great ones too.